I appreciate you

It’s that time of the year in the United States when we take some time to sit back, reflect, and give thanks for the many blessings in our lives. 2009 has proven to be a pivotal year for me and my endeavors, and next year could be a grand year indeed based on the efforts I’ve already put out.

It’s fun and gratifying to have you reading my stuff!

I feel pretty fortunate to be gaining some attention on my blog and over at my website. A blog author hopes for that, but of course there is no guarantee. While I’m not getting 2,000 vistors a day or even anywhere close to that, I am definitely appreciative and respectful of my handful of loyal followers who do visit me and even leave comments. The back-and-forth with my readers is fun, educational, and more than I could have hoped for after I published my first blog post.

This is such a different world than the one I grew up in, long about the 1980′s. Technology is amazing, and the chance for reaching a large audience is astounding. I have a regular reader, Elizabeth (username Saphine is what you’ll see on her comments) and she is over in Scotland. Amazing! And there are probably other international readers too! She’s just the one so far who’s brave enough to make herself known as a proponent of my “stuff”.

I’m thankful that I stuck with this banjo

You know, I believe in a personal, one-on-one connection with every one of my readers. That personal connection has been my over-arching goal in creating my main website, in creating this blog…heck, in giving banjo lessons in general. I love sitting down and passing on licks and tips to others, as well as learning from others. Having said that, I’m not afraid to admit to you, my friends and readers, that I am often doubtful of my own abilities, my own style, my own technique. There are soooo many truly great pickers out there on a local, national, and global scale, and it feels daunting to sit in their presence sometimes. On one hand, it’s neat to be able to say that I am self taught. I did it on my own…or, you could say that I figured out what resources to turn to over the years to help myself get better. On the other hand, sometimes I wonder if I’ve missed something, if there are holes in my knowledge base. Why in the *&^% can’t I do what Jimmy Mills or Tony Trischka or Sammy Shelor does? I guess the answer is that I can…sort of.

I just laid out the self doubt that we all suffer from and that still hits me from time to time. It’s human nature, and it never leaves you. It is my theory that if you asked Jimmy Mills if he has “made it” or if he’s “arrived”, he’ll give you a resounding NO! I can almost guarantee that there is some technique or some person that he admires and enjoys listening to. We all feel as if we’ll never get it. Beginners feel that way. Intermediate pickers feel that way. Pro’s feel that way. It’s important to acknowledge, accept, and embrace that feeling. Get comfortable with that feeling and let it tag along with you in an ever-present manner, because it’ll do you good and drive you on.

So I can’t quite do what Earl does. But I can do what Banjo Paul does. And Banjo Paul has been accepted, received, and embraced  by a wide circle of people. Many people accept me and don’t mind having me at a jam session or sitting in with their band. I can come close to sounding like what you know and love in the pro’s that have come before me. I can improvise, I can handle the role of banjo player in a bluegrass band, and I can teach. I can sound out what banjo pickers are doing by ear. I can play fairly fast numbers fairly well. I can hear my picking with a trained ear and realize where I’m weak so as to be able to improve that technique or that lick. I can memorize songs quickly, I can play tastefully and with finesse. I could go on and on, but the main thing is that while I often get gripped by “I-suck-itis”, I try to curtail it quickly and keep it at bay by realizing just how far I’ve come and by taking stock in the skills that I do have. You know, sometimes what’s going on when I feel like this or that person is better than me is just me realizing that they play differently than me. What they are doing may be astounding or crisp or clean or technical or full of banjo-neck-gymnastics and licks that I’ll never be able to pull off…but what I do is also good. I just deliver my “stuff” in a different style. That person truly is good. Or great. Or phenomenal. But…I’m good too. It’s important that all of us recognize our own skills and celebrate what we can do.

As I said in the bold paragraph heading above, I’m thankful that I stuck with this banjo. The banjo has become one of the defining symbols of my life, and many many people associate me with the banjo. I’ve earned money playing banjo, I’ve become recognized as a pseudo-celebrity, I’ve been sought out to join bands. I’ve done stand-up comedy with my banjo, I’ve taken it into community theater and helped to win second place in a national theater competition with it. It’s kept me out of trouble, it’s given me hundreds of hours of fun and entertainment as I travelled the bluegrass circuit in bands. It’s my friend and constant companion. I’m thankful that I stuck with it, even as I struggled to do anything even half-good with it at times. Perhaps one of my most cherished memories occurred at the Tri-State Bluegrass Festival inKendallville, Indiana in the late 90′s. I played the festival with my group Apple Blossom Bluegrass, and after one of our sets I was approached backstage by an audience member. He was beaming ear to ear as he walked towards us, making a beeline for me. He came up to me and made a little small talk, did a little shake & howdy with us, then he turned to me and said:

“Paul, if I had a chance to choose between having a million dollars and playing banjo like you, I’d choose to play banjo like you.”

Wow.

Thanks for reading

In closing, I’m thankful for so many things, musical and non-musical. I am healthy, I have great kids, I have budding self-employment shaping up. I’m flexible and free with my time. I’ve found love. I’m having a great year, and the future looks pretty good. Along with all those things is a deep appreciation for you. I’m so glad you are here. You make this blog happen. You give me someone to connect with, someone to play banjo for, someone to get better for. I want to help you, want to be known as accessible. Sure, I have paid resources both available now and in the works for a future launch, but the best experiences are when you and I can just chat person-to-person and I can pass along a tip or trick. I don’t need to charge for that.

Happy Thanksgiving. I’m glad you are here.

Banjo Paul
“Wunse, I coodn’t even spel bango pikker…now I are one!”
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www.mybanjolife.com (blog)
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